Tuesday, December 30, 2008
When I started this blog, I changed my on line name to Sunshiner. I previously was known as Nightcrawler, a name far more appropriate for my personality. But I was determined to change, to be more positive, more sunny. Hah! I can't seem to stop the cyniscism and sarcasm. Even if I don't come right out and say things, I think my feelings leak out between the words. I find it depressing that I can't seem to be more positive. Maybe I am just in a rut. I spent Saturday morning at the ER, and went home early Sunday from work. I had to hold my coumadin until further notice. It is never in range, never freakin never. I hate the thought of having to go back on lovonox. It's such a painful, brutal, harsh medicine. Coumadin is just a pill. If you're out of range too high, you can bleed to death internally from something as simple as a needle stick. If it's too low, you have no protection at all. I've been on it for 8 months and been in range 2 diff weeks. A diff dose almost every week. I see the hematologist in 2 weeks; I don't know what is going to happen but I feel like I am losing any right to argue the lovonox thing. I was watching the DC marathon yesterday and caught the clip of Capt Phil injecting himself and admitting how much the shots hurt. It made me feel a bit better as he is so tough. I wanted to tell him to try an icebag on the injection site as soon as he injects. I found it helped a lot, numbed some of the immediate pain and reduced the size of the cystlike nodules that appear. It didn't do anything for thr bruising. Nothing like a belly that is black and blue and purple all over and filled with little round lumps. I should get a tee shirt Lovonox for Life. I don't think I could do it, take it forever, for life. I hope I don't have to.