Monday, June 8, 2009

This is Rudy, the Pekinese and Zoe a Maltese mix, down at the dog park.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

still trying

Charles is 83 and works every day duriing the school year. Sparky is blind and about 15. his family also includes Lady, a small Chihuahua and Di another Chihuahua.

The next photo is Di, the newest chihuahua. Sadly, she slipped between the fence gates and is awol for 48 hrs. This is the only photo of her as Charles only had her a day before she took off. People have spotted her but she runs away.

still trying


I am going to try and post some photos. Wish me luck. They are from Memorial Day weekemd when my friend Fay came in from Texas. Wee were roomates in college, over forty years ago. Scary, isn't it? It's not working. I got a photo to upload , it was my tomato plant, but it seemed to go on my last entry. hmm.


Sunday, May 3, 2009

It's been a year now since I managed to clot every major vein in my right leg and I am still not well. The greatly diminished blood flow just seems to have exasperated everything else. I got copies of my hospital records for my four admissions in the last year and it was kind of eye opening. I didn't know the femoral and common femoral as well as the popiteal were completely blocked, the saphenous was clotted. I didn't know I have Diastolic heart failure, that there is proof of mild pulmonary hypertension, that when I was on a monitor I tripped the alarms regularly with t waves and going from braccardia to tachycardia. In the past year, I may have worked my sched twice. It's time to try for disability. I resigned on Friday. It was really hard. I have always worked and always done a lot of OT. To not be able to do 19.5 hrs a week is pretty sad. I think I knew I was in trouble when I pulled into the parking lot one day last week and immediately started having chest pain. So, anyway, my time with Macy's is over. I am using what little vacation I have left and the 15th is my last day.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

split personality?

I created this log and id to stay positive and upbeat. My other journal is called nightcrawler1 and isn't on blogger. Going back and forth on them is making me crazy!! But they are different and I am going to try harder to continue. My first happy news is I finally found my camera! Regretfully, I have nothing to post but I will. I was in the hospital for a week in March, admitted on St Paddy's Day for Gangrene! of all things. The IV antibiotics worked, I don't think it was gangrene, but mt toes all turned black and part of my lower legs. It was gross. Now I am happy to say I have 10 mostly pink, sometimes grey, little piggies. While in the hospital, I had an iron transfusion. My hemoglobin was 10.2. I had to see the hemotologist today, hemaglobin has dropped to 9.1 No wonder I have no energy. If I need another transfusion, I am seriiously going to have to consider changing doctors. I love Dr Z and I have stuck with him 3 years and the lovanox and everything but a bag of iron runs 1000. the whole transfusion thing 1500, my insurance pays about 200. I have had 5 transfusions since Nov, 2 while in the hospital. The hospital ones aren't a problem, my hospitalization covers them, but if I am going to need a tranfusion once a month, we got a problem. I am so very glad DC will be back next week. Finally, something to look forward to.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


I am depressed. It's taken me months to admit it just to myself and anyone else who happens to be reading this, but yes, I am depressed. The Ranexa that was working so well quit working. I am on a weekly cbc blood test as well as a weekly PT INR blood test for my coumadin. My hemoglobin has made it to 9.4 after 4 iron transfusions, with another sched in 2 weeks. It ought to be a lot higher. It needs to be at least 11. I think the lowest was either 8.3 or 8.7. I don't appear to be bleeding but I'm having an EGD where they look inside your stomach and small intestine.
My son called last night, high and looking for money. I said no, he hung up. 2 hours later he called to say he was just leaving the ER after having anaphletic shock from eating a shrimp. Said he needed money for scripts from the doctor. It was hard to say no, but I did. I didn't believe him. I don't know of an ER anywhere in this country where you could be taken for a life threatening incident like that( he never had a shellfish allergy before, but then again, he has never ever eaten shellfish of any kind. No lobster, scallops crabs or shrimp. I don't believe he ate a shrimp. He's strictly a pizza and french fries kinda guy) and managed to get treated and released in less than 2 hours. So that is all depresssing as hell too. Then my neighbor just across from me died suddenly. We had a memorial service for him today. Sad, he was two years younger than me. The only good thing that has happened is I did make it back to the gym and my trainer. Also after the last Iron transfusion, I did notice I could walk without any shortness of breath. I did a full workout at the gym and had no angina. Those are all good things. Also, I changed the layout here I think. Hopefully for the better.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

It's cold

seriously cold, there was a hard frost this am. I hate the cold. The ramped up Ranexa is making me dizzy. Hopefully, it's a temporary side effect and will mostly vanish with time. I got the refill today at Walgreens. A thirty day supply after my co pay of 15.00, I saved $514.00. Hell. At this rate I'll be capped out before June. I can do $200.00 a month but not $500. The price of medicine is very discouraging. Right now, I don't have the physical endurance to work full time. I am easily fatigued and if I work longer hours the angina returns. I am covered by my husbands insurance. He is 70. If something happened to him, I would have no insurance. No prescription coverage. WTF would I do? Even if I applied for disability and was approved, medicare wouldnt kick in for a year. Now, I ask you, seriously, does that make any sense? The doctors all agree someone is medically disabled. They have a serious health condition. They are not working, but they must wait one year to apply for medicare health insurance. Does that make any kind of sense at all? Maybe they hope that after a year with no medical coverage, the list of people needing insurance will be a lot lower due to the number of people that surely must die without medical attention. I hate politics.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Brrr - it's cold

and going to get colder. I didn't make it to the gym but I did see the cardiologist. He upped my ranexa and mentioned if my heart rate stays the way it's been I'm gonna need a pacemaker later in the year. Joy. However, I have woken up with a hr of 39 after walking around, visiting the bathroom, etc. and that doesn't thrill me either. When I was in the hospital recently and hooked up to telemetry it dropped down to 39 and set off all kinds of scary alarms. He also mentioned there is some new procedure they are doing on bad veins in the legs he may recommend a little later in the year. He wants my legs higher than my heart. My gasto guy wants my head and chest elevated. I have tried doing this with pillows and such but it really doesn't work. My ankles swell horribly from gravity. Now even the lasix on a triple dose is ineffective. I am going to ask about a hospital bed. My INR was LOW! It just makes me crazy. I took another lab today and I'm seeing my family Dr. manana. Let's see what he says. Then the week after next The Gasto guy, Dr K. My New Year's goal are to try and work more hours. I went from full time to 20 hours and I have been ok with that, but it's not paying the bills. I need to squeeze 8 - 10 more hours into my schedule that won't give me angina or make my feet and legs too swollen. I have very flexible hours at work and I'm thinking of trying a split shift. Four hours in the morning and 3 at night. But I need to try it before I commit to it. I could do it Mon Tues and Fri and then work 11-7 on Sunday. If I could handle that, and things got bad, I could always add one more day as a last resort. My concern is the price of the Ranexa. I'm up to 1000 mg BID, that's about $400. a month. I have 7 other medications and my husband has a few, the insurance cap is 3500. I won't make it. I haven't heard from my son, he must have fell into some money because he has never given up asking me for some. New Years goals - wasn't I speaking about that? So more hours, pay down the debt, and try and lose some more weight and keep going to the gym. There. Done. Finis.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

This and that

Got a postcard in the mail today, Dr wants to discuss my labs. I've started bruising again so I know the INR is too high, especially after the bleeding incident the other day. Pittsburgh won today - Yay! Go Steelers! I have had company since Tuesday, J a friend of my hubby's from NY. J didn't feel good yesterday and asked me to drive him to the ER. Turns out he had a mild stroke. But he is blaming everything he ate! The fact that he has really bad, not under control, blood pressure has nothing to do with it. Nor does the fact that he forgot his meds 2x that I know of since he was here. I think I won't miss him so much when he goes this time. I saw the pix of Capt Phil in the wheelhouse of the Cornelia Marie and it just seemed so right. Even if he was on his way to drydock. Artic low from Alaska coming our way, will drop temps into the 30's and 40's here. I need to find some gloves. I am still feeling really tired. I'm surprised because after the iron transfusion, I should feel better. I am going to try and make it to the gym Mon. I need to be able to tell my cardio guy just how things have deteriorated. Off to walk the dog.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

getting old sucks

I found the owner of the trike and returned it to him. He was leaving for a cruise and said "Thank you" and left. I kinda wish he would have shaken my hand or something, sorta felt like a servant that did her job, no more no less. But, it doesn't matter. I'd do the same thing all over again in a heartbeat. I went to my hematologist, Dr Z today. We were both pretty shocked when my bloodwork showed my hemoglobin at 8.7 even lower than last month when I had 2 iron tranfusions. Like wtf?? So I have to go see my gastroenterologist Dr K. and I think he's hoping for a endoscopy and colenoscopy to rule out some type of internal bleeding. Dr Z also had a iron transfusion done today which messed up the office schedule a bit. To make matters worse, the 1st IV had problems and my arm started blowing up. The second one, after I left and was going down in the elevator, I felt something wet dripping down my hand. Yep, it was blood. Yuck. All over my wallet, the floor, disgusting. I went back and had it taken care of. Makes me think maybe my INR is high. Does it ever end? Getting old sucks. On the bright side, Gators tonight against Oklahoma. GO GATORS!!!!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

what a difference a day makes or to stop a thief

Today I am feeling very positive. I worked all day without any chest pain, shortness of breath is remaining an issue, though. I don't understand, 2 weeks ago I had no sob and now, even a short walk raises my bp and heart rate to discomfort levels. But now, let me describe my exciting evening. There was nothing on tv as usual and I had nothing to read except the paper. I watched some DC I had tivo'd from last week and then decided to take the dog out and go to bed early. Usually, at night and since I have been having sob issues, I drive down to the dog park. Tonight I decided to walk up half a block and take the dog near the dumpster. We walking nice, minding our business but not doing any when a kid on a trike sails down my street hauling another trike! Adult 3 wheel bike theft is huge down here. It's not so much dangerous as very annoying. New trikes run about $400 and up. Really really old beat up ones are 75. I go after him and holler "hey" but he never stopped. I hightailed it back to my house and saw my neighbor out. "Bob- did you see that?" I yelled. Bob was on it, he'd already called 911. Bob is in his 70's has one leg and is a very ill man just home from the hospital, but he was on the job. I got in my car and decided to follow and see where he went. I live off a service rd that is one way so naturally he turned the direction I couldn't drive. But I drove around the long way and spotted him. I put down the window and confronted him. He had some sorry sack of shit story, his friend gave it to him. I said "Oh no - it's stolen. The cops know and they're on their way." He got off undid it and took off on the other trike. That's probably stolen too but half a loaf is better than none and the trike I saved is a Schwinn. I don't have a cell phone it was now 10:30 pm and I'm on a service rd with nothing open, not even the crack motel. So I parked my car by a closed pizza place and rode the trike home. Then I had to walk back. That was a challenge. It took me between 15-20 minutes to walk back appx 1 mile and I stopped so many times to catch my breath and let my heart rate slow a little. But, I made it. I stopped in the dog park where Trixie immediately did her business. And I can go to sleep knowing someone in my mobile home community is going to be very happy when they find their stolen bike was recovered. Yay for the good guys!

Saturday, January 3, 2009


I made it thru New Years but I am not so sure my husband will make it thru the day. It's a good thing he has gone or I would have to find ways to make him go, permanently! He pissed me off so bad, I am so annoyed. It's trivial but I am still greatly pissed. We went shopping for a few groceries. He was doing his lotto tickets when I saw the flyer had a $5.00 off coupon if you spent 30.00. I quickly determined we were a bit short so I plopped the flyer with the BIG $5.00 off coupon under his nose, told him there's a 5.00 off coupon, I'm going to get some chicken cutlets. He replied they had no chicken cutlets, I told him I'd be right back with something. He didn't read the flyer, he didn't listen to me so knew nothing about the coupon. He didn't wait for me and he didn't look for me. He checked out and lit a cigarette, also annoyed I wasn't waiting for him. He doesn't drive you see and won't carry car keys "because I don't need them." The only good thing about this spat is he pays for the groceries and he is the cheapest man on the planet. For him to miss out on $5.00 has to just be killing him. Especially when I explained I had 2 beautiful sirloin steaks, buy one get one free. He would have had them both practically for free, but he didn't listen to me so now he gets shit.