depressed

I am depressed. It's taken me months to admit it just to myself and anyone else who happens to be reading this, but yes, I am depressed. The Ranexa that was working so well quit working. I am on a weekly cbc blood test as well as a weekly PT INR blood test for my coumadin. My hemoglobin has made it to 9.4 after 4 iron transfusions, with another sched in 2 weeks. It ought to be a lot higher. It needs to be at least 11. I think the lowest was either 8.3 or 8.7. I don't appear to be bleeding but I'm having an EGD where they look inside your stomach and small intestine.
My son called last night, high and looking for money. I said no, he hung up. 2 hours later he called to say he was just leaving the ER after having anaphletic shock from eating a shrimp. Said he needed money for scripts from the doctor. It was hard to say no, but I did. I didn't believe him. I don't know of an ER anywhere in this country where you could be taken for a life threatening incident like that( he never had a shellfish allergy before, but then again, he has never ever eaten shellfish of any kind. No lobster, scallops crabs or shrimp. I don't believe he ate a shrimp. He's strictly a pizza and french fries kinda guy) and managed to get treated and released in less than 2 hours. So that is all depresssing as hell too. Then my neighbor just across from me died suddenly. We had a memorial service for him today. Sad, he was two years younger than me. The only good thing that has happened is I did make it back to the gym and my trainer. Also after the last Iron transfusion, I did notice I could walk without any shortness of breath. I did a full workout at the gym and had no angina. Those are all good things. Also, I changed the layout here I think. Hopefully for the better.